Thursday, June 14, 2012

Death and Taxes

The saying goes that the only two things that are certain in life are death and taxes.  In divorce, there is a tax that is just as certain and that is the tax on your emotions.  Most people at the point of divorce have already been through a lot of emotional turmoil on their road to divorce.  The actual process of divorce isn't much easier and most of the time the divorce process can be much more taxing on your emotions than the marital problems that  brought you to the point of divorce.

I have witnessed every emotion possible as a divorce lawyer.  I've seen people clap in the courtroom when the judge finally awarded them their divorce.  I've seen people cry with such desperation and lack of hope in ever being happy again that it breaks my heart.  I've seen extreme levels of anger at the betrayal and greed of their spouse.  And I've seen individuals experience debilitating fear of the spouse who has abused them for years.  Regardless of your emotions, you have to overcome them somehow and move forward to a better future.  Your well-being depends on it.  Your children's well-being depends on it.  Your career depends on it.  Your happiness depends on it.

That's a lot of pressure!

But there IS hope!

Find friends to confide in.  Get a counselor you trust. Find whatever it is that motivates you and makes you comfortable in your own skin again.  It takes time.  It takes effort.  It takes courage.  But if you give up, if you don't try, your spouse wins.  And I haven't met a client yet that was willing to simply let their spouse win.

Why start now?


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